I just realised my sports bra is poking out oh well...
"Oops I did it again I played with your heart got lost in the game oh baby baby"
So I posted a video back in 2020 called Confidence Part 2 (link down below) as you can see I was trying to get that Golden hour shot but could barely see and I wasn't making a good delivery of what I was trying to announce. So drumroll.... please Brrrrrrrrrrrr.
I applied again this year and I am on the new faces of the competition this year. Oh my gosh. This is really happening. I have to perform in front of people (stage fright) shave my legs (hello lockdown) and study miss congeniality with Sandra Bullock while trying keep on top of studies(it's ok Mom it's ok). I am getting ahead myself I am only at the first heat voting starts soon download the Miss England free app to get a free daily vote.
The whole reason I created my channel was to get out of comfort and I had to stop comparing myself. To other YouTubers, girls in my ballet class and other creators' journeys. I will still be scared to get into my comfort zone. I think the skill that I need to learn is balance between reading God's word, posting, education and my sanity. Being fearless and believing in myself.
My goal is to use this as a platform to get my voice heard and to honour to my grandfather, Clifford Looby who trained Miss World in 1979 and a few Miss Universes as well as a award body builder who competed in ranking 26 in Mr. Olympia and shook hands Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Gina Swainson Miss World 1979
Now you might be thinking this girl is professing to be a born again Christian so is signing up to this going against what Jesus would consider holy. Honestly, I am still trying to figure out what he considers holy daily by reading his word and getting information that is I know are godly not cosmo.
"I have a responsibility to take care of this temple I call my body until God calls me home "
Clifford Looby Royal Gazette
Favourite photo of him
He taught me to do the same with training when he came over to live with us back in 2019. He saw me as a ten-year-old girl who would watch Gene Kelly and Marilyn Monroe movies with him. I still was but I thought I knew best and at times was disrespectful and stubborn. He taught me not to rely on anyone and keep God first. He taught me how to draw, sing and play the piano. I think he wanted me to finish what he started and always walk with my head held high. He taught me that being myself was ok and helped me out of my comfort zone. He taught me not to go after a boy with a girlfriend and let him chase you, the one God has for me ( can I get an amen). He also taught a little self-defence random dude reading this post. He along with his wife Cherri raised wonderful children including my uncles and my Mom who helped raise me into the woman that I am becoming. When his first wife passed my grandma knew that I would need a God fearing woman to pray for me, she passed down the gift to my Granny Shelia. Who was present for all the photos Nana Cherri missed. I love them both. I will write about them soon they will get their own blog post trust me.
If I look back in my diary about all things I said about him negative or otherwise. I loved him. You can't pick and choose your family but I am so glad that God chose me to be a part of his.
Flashback of Papa and I at Dockyard in Bermuda
I will leave you this poem that I wrote on Instagram as you do.
Only black girl
I am the only black girl in my class and at times I find myself comparing my hip size. Not realising when I look in the mirror there another black girl starring back waiting for her to recognise the strength that lies her own eyes.
I am the only black girl in my class and at times I find myself comparing my hip, breast and lip size. Not realising when I look in the mirror there another black girl starring back waiting for her to recognise the strength that lies her own eyes.
Songs I am listening to
All I wanna do by Jay Park ft. Hoody and Loco
My sanity by Thriii
Sorry would go a long way by Tori Kelly
No air by Jordin Sparks
Dear no one by Tori Kelly
Boyfriend Jeans by SAY GRACE
You don't own me by SAY GRACE
Hesitate by Jonas Brother (Joe you are now my favourite and I watched chasing happiness/happiness begins on amazon)
Mikrokosmos by BTS
Coffee by BTS
Born Singer by BTS
You rock my world by Micheal Jackson
First Burn by Lin Manuel Miranda ft. Ari Afsar, Julia Harriman, Lexi Lawson, Rachelle Ann Go, and Shoba Narayan*♡
Note to self:create a Spotify playlist
Let me know if you want to hear more about Papa, his life in Bermuda and hey if you are Bermudian and knew him better let's talk in the comments.
I hope that you will follow me on my journey by subscribing to my channel and joining the mailing list to engage in my random thoughts.
See you out there...
Links
Tim Redigolo (2019) Kettering student needs your votes to qualify for Miss England [Online]
Available at: https://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/kettering-student-needs-your-votes-qualify-miss-england-698609 [Date Accessed 8/1/2022]
FortheShygirl, (2020) Confidence Part 2 [Online] Available at https://youtu.be/Hy9uvxh2HQ8 [Date accessed 11/1/2022]
Jessie Moniz Hardy (2016) Clifford's still Flexing at 81 [Online]
Available at:https://www.royalgazette.com/other/lifestyle/article/20160223/cliffords-still-flexing-at-81-2/ [Date accessed 11/1/2022]
Jonathon Bell (2019) Clifford Looby (1934-2019) [Online]
Available at:https://www.royalgazette.com/other/news/article/20190913/clifford-looby-1934-2019/ [Date accessed 11/1/2022]
Miss England(2022) Miss England [Online] Available at:https://www.missengland.info
[Date accessed 11/1/2022]
*Lin Manuel Miranda (2018) First Burn [Online] Available at:https://youtu.be/r2ys-AimNbE[Date accessed 11/1/2022]